Why are People like this?

"People who are not happy with themselves, cannot possibly be happy with you"

Growing up In my family, my parents and grandparents made it clear that we were really big on family and friends. I never really understood that statement from my grandparents until I got married, got my dogs, and eventually bought my own house with my soulmate. I believe family and friends are very important even if you think it is or not. Especially whenever you have children. You want your children to experience relationships with their aunts, uncles, cousins, and so forth. Not too mention the memories that will be made every time you get to be around your family and friends whether it be for the holidays, birthdays, or just the simple barbecue Sundays. You grow to learn how to make time for them so you won't miss out on those times and memories, because in an instant it can all be GONE.

My question is why are people so INCONSIDERATE of others time and take ADVANTAGE of their friends and family when there isn't too much time left with each other?????

I understand everyone has a life including all of us reading this blog at the moment. We have family to take care of and feed, goals to reach, businesses to open, job promotions to get, and the list can go on and on until I turn blue in the face. But one thing that people seem to always ignore or just simply don't even care to realize is that creating excuses to avoid your family and friends shouldn't be normalized anymore. I wish I could get all those times back whenever I didn't spend time with my grandma or those times whenever I was to busy in school to simply not even make the effort to go out to eat with my dad knowing he only comes to Texas once or twice a month or the time when my friends all went out to eat to celebrate our friends birthday but I just wasn't in the mood to go out from being upset at something earlier. Once that time expires there isn't another opportunity for you to gain it back and you may never know if it'll be the last time you see that person again. How are you going to feel then from your excuse making and selfish ways? Is it going to bother you or are you going to continue life in a delusional state as if there was nothing else that could of been done on your part to make an effort for those people you so deeply care about? Think about it and think hard.

Communication is a big part to maintaining a good relationship with your family and friends. We all need them eventually and some of them we need them on a daily basis. Whether it be being there whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, to vent, to watch your children and dogs, to attend special events at school or whatever the case may be. They are like your team even though there's so many of them but you wouldn't trade them for the world right? If one of your teammates is down, you pick them up no matter what it takes or the sacrifices you have to make. This team isn't a one-sided relationship and it can't ever be in order for it to flourish. If it's not double-sided expect for someone to remove themselves from this so called team and be on the other team as your opponent. If I need something, I know one day my teammate is going to need something from me too. But you may ask how do these analogies tie into the million dollar question, "Why are People like this?"

Why do families and friends start to fall apart you might ask? Here's why.

People start to get selfish and inconsiderate with their family and friends without even knowing it. You plan things and they don't show up to your events but will go to other people's events. It's your Birthday but they won't celebrate with you but will celebrate with others and their birthdays. You see them on their phone all the time whenever they are around you but the second you call or text they don't pick up. You invite them out to eat but all of sudden they don't have money but you saw them out with their friends last week. You buy them gifts for special occasions but you don't receive not even a gift or some type of effort to produce a gift from them. They do something that hurt your feelings but it's okay because it made them feel better. They call you when they need an emergency but never call to check how you are doing when you have been drowning with stress. They start to rebuild old relationships with people that have hurt them but forget about the relationship they have built with you for them. They call or text you only when they need something but when you need something the phone just rings and rings with no response until days later. These certain actions cripple relationships and friendships. Everybody goes through something on a daily basis and everyone has a life they have to cater to, but one thing that seems to be ignored is the effort to make time for the people you care about. As the saying goes, "the world doesn't always revolve around you" which is true. It's okay to dedicate your time to the people that matter to you the most instead of always being only about you and the people that have trampled on your character.

I can't explain this enough. COMMUNICATE. If you don't feel like going somewhere because you are in a crappy mood say that. If you don't like who they are friends with, tell them. If you feel uncomfortable with them speaking to someone you have an issue with, say it. If your feelings are hurt by something they did, tell it. The list can go on and on and on until I vomit. Everybody deserves communication and an explanation as to why something didn't go as planned. People have turned relationships and friendships into being one-sided so bad. You don't want to lose someone that means the world to you because you constantly pushed them to their limit and now don't want anything to do with you from your horrific ways. Eventually people get so tired of being used, stomped on, and manipulated to think that they aren't as important as you make others feel important. Family and friends are a give and take approach and should be treated as such. In today's society I have seen nothing but me me me or poor me mentality.

Sometimes the damage has been so unacceptable on their part that your relationship is unrepairable. Unfortunately that's okay too. Sometimes removing yourself from certain friendships/family is a better alternative for your wellbeing and mental state. It takes time to forgive those that have harmed you. If time has decided that it's not mendable that's okay, maybe it's not the right time for that person(s) to be in your life at this time. We are all human and have feelings that create grudges from all the mistrust and hurt from those who have harmed us by their selfish ways. It even takes a toll on you if they continue to do things that make you even question if you really do want them in your life or you want them out completely. As humans we try to protect ourselves from those who harm us. We fall back and disappear once we have been screwed over by someone we trusted. It takes a lot for you to trust someone that has did you wrong and the trust must be built and earned again. Some don't make the effort to do so because they live in a fantasy world of "I didn't do anything wrong or points the finger at the other person" which causes issues when trying to repair what has already been broken. Repairing something that has been broken requires a lot of accountability and acknowledgment of what one did wrong and accepting their faults. Which a lot of us have too much pride to admit and therefore we don't make any progress. Which can result in your understanding that it was good while it lasted! Now you just have the memories left. Then you are made aware If those people aren't bringing anything to your table, why have them sit at your table anyway right? I see people in my life as two choices: assets and liabilities. Which one are you to people? Which one are people to you? Do you have more assets or more liabilities in your life?