Heal, Hope, Happiness, Recovery

August 10th, 2023 at 12:05 pm. You never really know when your life can change in an instant and make you think twice about how you live it.

The unexpected happened to me on August 10th. I had had my doubts and fears of it happening one day when I would be alone but I never thought in a million years it would have happened to me that day. I had decided to leave early to visit my grandmother in the hospital and got home at around 11:20 am to be welcomed by my beautiful German Shepherd boys, Achilles and Troy. I was curious as to my husbands whereabouts so I proceed upstairs to him snoring lol. Therefore, I wake him up and let him know I wanted to grab lunch with him, my mother, and my stepfather but to hurry because they are on their way to pick us up. I had noticed that Achilles and Troy had not eaten breakfast yet so I took the initiative while my husband gets ready to prepare their bowls. It is 11:45 am as I prepare their bowls they seem calm and patient. Normally, we have a gate to separate them from eating and somehow, someway it slips my mind to close the gate during breakfast. Yeah, worst mistake.. I know. But you live and you learn. Troy had finished eating and his bowl was empty. He likes to hang out in the kitchen with me sometimes while we wait for Achilles to finish his food. Troy decided to hang out in the living room and wait for Achilles to finish. At this point, I pick up Achilles' bowl and proceed to open the pantry door to grab myself a snack and drink. As I attempt to open the door.. Troy comes running into the kitchen. Achilles is still next to his bowl so he is on my left side and Troy is on my right side.. My assumption is that there was loose kibble on the floor and Achilles was being territorial with his food. Troy was trying to eat the loose kibble on the floor which is right next to the pantry door I was trying to open and there goes the fight between them.. It erupts and I was unfortunately in the middle of it all. My husband had decided to step out to grab his cigarettes from his truck so I was there trying to separate them while trying to remain calm during the whole altercation. All my mind could think in that moment was I wasn't going to be able to separate them because 1. it's two against me and 2. they are extremely strong. I started to panic.. so my instinct started to kick in. My instinct was to push them out of the kitchen to make it to the upstairs to put Troy up there. I was kneeing Troy to the living room and kicking Achilles behind me to separate them as much as possible.. I didn't understand why I was having so much trouble until I saw the camera that captured the horrifying sight. Troy had my hand in his mouth while I was kneeing him to the upstairs gate. In a matter of seconds my husband comes running to my rescue tackling Troy. We finally separated them but I lose control of Achilles because I took a look at my right hand and instantly see blood gushing. I panic to them fighting again and eventually get a hold of Achilles with my left hand. At this point I am panicking of seeing all the blood. My husband puts Troy upstairs and instantly grabs Achilles to put him outside. I immediately ran to the kitchen to grab paper towels to control the bleeding but after looking at it a couple more times the bite was pretty deep on my right hand. My husband comes to the kitchen and instructs me that we are going to the hospital as soon as possible and that we need to move fast. As we gather my wallet and more paper towels to control the bleeding I hurry outside to find my mother waiting for us. As stated earlier, we were waiting for them to pick my husband and I up to have lunch. It is now 12:06 pm when we get into my mother car and my husband informs her that our boys got into a fight and I need an ER quickly for stitches. My mother frantically starts driving to the nearest ER.. as I am screaming at the top of my lungs in pain and fear. I had never got stitches before and I was not ready to get them. My fear for needles is very high and the thought of knowing I would need needles on my hand or anywhere for that matter made things even worse for me.

We eventually arrive to the ER and they see me immedialty and put me in a room. The nurse comes in and starts the cleaning process of my hand. Which let me tell you.. was so painful because of the burning sensation.. Have you ever had a cut and when you clean it with alcohol it burns like hell? Well, yeah that is what happened here in this situation. I loved the nurse by the way. He was so sweet and very very patient with me during the cleaning process. Once he cleans the wounds, the doctor comes in. I see the stitches and oh yeah the NEEDLES.. He informs me that I will be getting two shots on my booty and the rest of them on my hand for numbing after those have been given, I will be getting an x-ray to confirm nothing is broken and then the stitches will be put. I was thinking in my head, "Fantastic, what a day to be alive". After the shots which let me remind you were a lot and painful, I get the x-ray and wait for the results before they put the stitches. After about 20 minutes of waiting, the doctor comes back in the room and lets me know that we are in the clear for adding the stitches. I start to feel my chest get heavy and I start to cry because of the fear of having to get stitches. I have never got them before so I was terrified to have to get them but I knew I needed them. I could see my muscles and tissues hanging out of my hand so I knew I would have to suck it up and shut up in that moment. The doctor proceeds to apply the stitches since the numbing medication should have already taken effect. My mother is in the room holding my hand the entire time and keeping my attention occupied to avoid the stitches being applied. The process took approximately 15 minutes. After the stitches were put in place, he proceeds to clean the area and lets me know I would be out of work until Tuesday and to return in 10 days for the removal. I was dreading the arrival of the 10 days because like what the heck. Why not give me the dissolvable stitches??? I eventually arrive at home and I couldn't stand to look at Achilles and Troy. I didn't even want to be around them either. I had so many emotions when I was sitting at home on my couch looking at my mangled hand not being able to move it. I wanted to give them a hug but I would find myself questioning how they could do this to me. I am their owner, they are supposed to protect me at all costs, not hurt me? Eventually, I started opening up to them more and more.. it took a while but you come to the realization that they didn't meant to bite you and you were just in the middle of it all. The target wasn't me it was them against each other and I just happened to be in the middle of it.

My right hand was wrapped up in dressing and was painful to manage. I had to rearrange my whole schedule and transitioned to sleeping on the couch. I had lost complete control of my right hand and had to depend on my left hand, my husband, mother, stepdad to assist me in opening drinks, cooking, opening chips, etc, due to the swelling. I was unable to shower myself, change my clothing, type and/or use the mouse on the computer for work, open doors in my own home, make myself meals, text on my cell phone, drive, no gym either, etc. I was disabled to the fullest capacity from the very beginning and it was such a horrible feeling to have to depend on others when I myself am so independent. The 10 days officially arrived which I was dreading by the way and it was time to remove the stitches. Back we go to the hospital where the stitches were put in and let me tell y'all.....the removal of the stitches were so painful!! I had heard from others that the process was painless.. yeah lies!!! I closed my eyes the entire time of the removal but my mother told me that the first doctor had tied the stitches double to where the second doctor was having trouble removing them!!!! Yeah, my luck huh lol.

The worst feeling of all was having none of my friends be there for me other than 1 or two that have continued to show up. I honestly never imagined in a million years to see my own friends completely abandon me during such a traumatic experience. I myself had never been bit by a dog much less my own dogs nor had I ever received stitches which was such a big deal for me. I believe we all as friends, family, and employers lose sight of being there for one another and misunderstand what being there actually means. We take certain things and our loved ones for granted so much. I would have loved to be of importance to my friends and family. Such as, a check in at least once a week or even a quick visit, just something!!! I was expecting those gestures as I have done for them when they were in a tough situation once a upon a time in their life. I was very disappointed to have seen that I was unimportant to those that I keep so close and dear to my heart. The person I am is the type that will always be there for my friends and family even if I'm going through hell in my life. My life could be falling apart right in front of me and I would still make all efforts to be there when needed. This is what friends do. Family as well. We look out for one another, we check in when possible, make sacrifices, we worry about each other all the time because we know that tomorrow is never promised. After my bite, I look at life from a completely different lens. I am grateful to be here today, tomorrow, and yesterday. Grateful to still have my whole hand, all my fingers because I know that dog bite could have been way worse than what it was. It could of been my face or another body part that could have affected me more than what it did. I am not implying that my dog bite was not as bad as it was because it is horrible. I am still having trouble moving my right hand and still feel at a disadvantage for certain things around the house, work, and even in the gym. My recovery phase has not been easy and it is still not easy going a month in. Be aware of your friends, family because just because someone makes it seem like they are okay, 9 out of 10 times they aren't. Everybody is going through something in their lives, some go through it privately and some publicly. Try to be there for your loved ones as much as you can, it takes 2.5 seconds to send a text, a minute to make a phone call, and an hour of your time to see them. Excuses come and go until that's all you have left to provide them.

I am forever grateful to have had the friends and family that did check in when they didn't have too or if it was a lot for them to do so but still did, come by with food and gifts, prayers, etc. I felt extremely blessed to get better. I am proud of those that have went through something similar as I did. You are not alone and continue to fight these silent battles that no one knows about. A dog bite or any bite for that matter is nothing to play about and should be taken very serious by those around us. Don't let these people that have never gone through an animal bite that led to stitches dictate on how you should feel and what you expect out of others to be there for you. I expect everyone to be there for those that have gone through such a traumatic event. It was fearful and I know that nightmares happen to some of those that have gone through it.

I would love to hear your personal experiences of any dog bites or any bites that you have been through. Have you seen anyone get bit by a dog before? How did you cope with the repercussions after your animal bite? What were your coping mechanisms? Did you seek counseling after? Do you still have nightmares after months/years have gone by? Did you have a support system to help you cope with your stress and/or happiness?